At school I was selected as prefect in the student representative body - in primary school as head boy and in secondary school as co-deputy head boy. I received a number of academic awards and also played in the 1st rugby teams. I mention it to make a point about the expectation and impression that you have to be, or are "perfect" if you are a "prefect", a leader or doing well in something. You can lead and receive awards and at the same time deal with a hidden internal mental struggle. Equally true is that even if you have internal struggles, you can find ways to manage them and still perform and achieve many things. After completing school in 1989 my initial career vision was to practice as Psychologist and so I set off to achieve my Masters Degree in Psychology. I mainly wanted to help people and prevent any suffering but also wanted to help myself in the process as I was dealing with a lack of self-confidence, shyness and experienced intense anxiety in social situations. I completed my BA and BA( Hons) degrees and started working as Psychometrist for a Psychologist in private practice.

While I was studying I got "slightly" distracted from my humanistic vision by technology when my father brought home an ICL ELF personal computer and a friend introduced me to the Internet and HTML. The bug actually infected me years earlier in primary school when I asked him to buy me a Sinclair ZX Spectrum computer which my sister and I, mainly used to play games with, but also introduced me to programming.
In 1998 I switched study direction to a Bsc in Computer Science which resulted in a 26-year detour through the IT landscape.
I can't blame technology solely for the diversion though, as bouts of anxiety and lack of self-confidence continued and contributed as well. I also justified my decision with the excuse that I needed life experience before I could become a good psychologist and give advice to people about their lives.
When I encountered Flash Animations on websites I was facinated with its potential and it triggered a brief exploration of my "creative-side" and art via Visual Communication studies.

* ZX Sinclair photo courtesy of Terry Stewart (youtube)

Although I was primarily occupied with IT and technology, I never lost my compassion or curiosity about the paradox between the strength and fragility of the human mind.
Between 2013 and 2015, while in my early 40's I made two major life transitions and experienced a huge loss. I was a bachelor for most of my life but quite suddenly met a wonderful person, got enganged, left Africa and my family behind and moved to Italy, got married and started a new life in a new country as a foreigner. The day after I arrived in Italy my father suddenly, but not completely unexpectedly passed away. Apart from dealing with that shock I also struggled with a new language, culture and found employment only two years later. In 2021 I became a citizen of my adopted country Italy. As soon as I started adapting to married life we as a couple were confronted by the harsh reality and difficulty of trying to start a family late in life and after a miscarriage with the eventual pain and acceptance that we wouldn't be able to. These experiences were tough but also enriching and the memories and lesson following from them absolutely worth it.

My mom passed away in 2020 soon after Covid-19 lockdowns hit the world which prevented me from visiting her or attending her funeral. The year after my boss died from cancer and due to Covid's impact on the tourism industry my role at our hotel reservation software company was made redundant. I experienced my 3rd major life transition the following year which involved buying a home and moving to another city. I arrived at the lowest point the next year after an unexpected seperation. The vacuums on multiple fronts at one stage brought me face to face with a question we avoid but should talk about more: "Is suicide a viable alternative to the pain and discomfort and apparent lack of meaning?" I was really hurting but not enough reason to motivate a "Yes". I rather wanted to understand why we end up in such situations and help others not having to even consider that decision. All the unfortunately situations ultimately brought about a renewed awareness of the importance of personal growth and mental health in our personal and professional lives. All the gushes of grief and loss moved air over a smouldering coal in the ashes of past passions and ignited a tiny flame. "Instead" appeared in 2024 as part of a Solution-Focused Coaching course I decided to take. Life happens while we make other plans. Will "Instead" be the avenue that leads me back to Psychology and complete the circle? Time will tell but for now it has given me "Mental Lift" - hope, meaning and satisfaction - just like a glider flight I experienced recently. I guess I now have some of the life experience I thought I needed. Time is limited and our health is not guaranteed. I have a desire to use the time I have left to share it with others and to and help those looking for solutions. Our world is experiencing a mental health crisis and in dire need of any help or potential solutions we can offer.